...To a filmmaker

Okay so...I wanna be a filmmaker, but I'm lacking the following:
a functioning macbook (RIP Steve Jobs), editing software, money, sound equipment, oh yeah and a CAMERA.

Mission impossible, right?
 
Well, I see that I'm going to have to tackle this mission in baby steps. I say to myself, "Self, what do you have going for yourself?" I think about it and realize that I have over $200,000 dollars worth of cultural capital, imagination and technical skills. All of these things are very hard to prove...

And believe me, I've already had my share of breakdowns. Just this weekend, my car (and by my car I mean my dad's car that I drive) was hit by some crazed drunken person. Well that's was the police suspected but I'm pretty sure that I have enemies...Anyway it was side swiped and is literally tore up from the floor up. Thank God for good friends who have actually gotten used to the drill of picking me up after my life has once again turned to shambles.

As I was doing my whole "woe is me" act, a friend told me that God was making me stronger. And I actually felt comforted in that moment. God is making me stronger! AMEN! But now that I think about it, what a horrible thought! --To think that God is making me stronger so that I can actually face even worse hardships in life. It's like we go through life continuously preparing for worser things to happen to us! I'm being dramatic...but that's weird, right? Can God allow me to be weak and have a great/easy life? This is when I think about those sayings that:

The best things in life are worth waiting for, fighting for etc.

But what if I just keep waiting...and fighting in vain?

One thing that I'm learning is that I can't do things alone...I struggle with that sometimes because it's not difficult to feel hatred, when it's around you. Not everyone wants me to succeed and that real. But there's nothing like having a strong support system, friends but especially family. I don't know what it is, but I've always wanted to make my family proud.

I'll take you all through my journey to be a filmmaker step by step...

and that's a promise.

MorganEliseJ