...To Love

This probably isn't a surprise to most of you but I attended private school for my entire life, with rich suburban white kids. In a Preschool-9th grade school I was 1 of 2 black kids...the other black kid was my older male cousin. And I stood out like a sore thumb. Ever since I was 8 years old my male cousins would constantly make it their business to prevent me from dating white men. I guess they figured that I would fall in love with white men because of my day to day contact with them in school. Even as a little girl I would stare at them in disgust, as if to say "ninja, you don't even KNOW me...or what I go through."

I was convinced that white boys at my school didn't even see me as a girl. No one looked at me and I didn't care. After all, I knew I was cute. Clearly, something was wrong with them. And then it happened. A group of boys were talking about something. They turned and looked at me. I looked back at them. Then one of them said, "What? You know she's hot." I was dumbfounded thinking, so they knew I looked good all along?

I've never been asked out by a white guy. Never. I bet that's hard to believe, but it's true. I'm trying to write this post without seeming completely prejudice but...who cares. Going to a private, boarding high school with rich white kids did not make dating any easier for me. I gave up pretty early, after all I had to compete with white girls (and that's all I'll say about that...). Yes some guys were interested in black girls, but only ones who they saw as Jezebels.

When a friend sent me this article it stirred up all kinds of emotion. I feel like it's such an OLD conversation but somehow it's still relevant. Black women, why are we undateable? Why are we growing old and not marrying? Articles like these strike fear in too many of my friends, as we sit and talk about which one of us isn't going to make it down the isle. The odds are against us college educated Black women because we outnumber Black men in school and the rest are in jail or batting for the other team and blah blah...

I refuse to speak such things into existance, but it is an unfortunate reality of many women. These articles make it seems like black women hiss and claw at white men when they approach us. Am I missing something? Are white men sitting around dreaming of marrying a black women? Where are these Robin Thickes?

Excuse me for saying that Black will always be my preference. Black don't crack and I'm going to need my husband to be as fine as me when we grow old together...without botox. (Y'all should know me by now). But let me hit 28 and still be single...

Do you have jungle fever?

smooches,
MorganEliseJ